| name | xylus — xy. |
| age | 30+ |
| pronouns | they — them. |
| sexuality | queer |
| status | mirror sharing |
| dedicated | 23 yrs 💍 |
| anniversary | 07.26.02 |
moonlityume
Married and devoted to my Demon Lord husband Sesshōmaru since September 26th, 2002.This is my yume space — part character reflections, part love letter — I’m a full time artist who loves horror media, alt fashions, and exploring the depth of a silver haired daiyōkai who has meant more to me than words can hold.Yes, he’s fictional. No, that doesn’t make the impact he’s had on my life any less real.Fun, thoughtful, occasionally intense — but always sincere.
Sesshōmaru is my ficto husband, my yumeship, and my Oshi.
i am most active on my tumblr
BASIC RULES
ㅤ✿ㅤ MDNI
ㅤ✿ㅤ BIGOTS DNI
ㅤ✿ㅤ 18+ only to follow and interact.
ㅤ✿ㅤ 21+ only for friendship.
ㅤ✿ㅤ I block ageless bios.
ㅤ✿ㅤ No toxic behavior, harassment, callouts, or fandom policing.
ㅤ✿ㅤ I celebrate selfshipping and yumeshipping — do not tear others down.
ㅤ✿ㅤ I am not non-sharing, but respect and maturity are required.
ㅤ✿ㅤ Do not talk to me about Yashahime — I’m not interested.
ㅤ✿ㅤ This is a yumeship shrine, not a debate space.
ㅤ✿ㅤ Please do not project your headcanons or dynamics onto my yume.
ㅤ✿ㅤ I actively work in therapy to unlearn black-and-white thinking. Anyone trying to drag me back into it can take that up with my therapist. If you’d like to regress me, you’re welcome to fight my therapist instead.
ㅤOn minors & fictional attachments—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤFictional bonds don’t suddenly appear at 18. Many people form deep emotional connections to characters while young, long before attraction or sexuality is even fully understood. That experience is valid.I don’t believe that minors forming emotional or fictional attachments to adult characters is inherently wrong or sexual. I was once a minor who loved Sesshōmaru, long before I had language for yumeshipping or fandom culture at all. These bonds are often developmental, emotional, aspirational, or comforting—and they don’t exist in a vacuum of age forever.That said, I do not engage with or support sexual content involving minors. This blog is an adult space, created by an adult, about an adult relationship. Please respect those boundaries.
ㅤOn the flip side of the coin—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤMany people form deep attachments to fictional characters while they themselves are minors—often to characters who are also minors at the time. Since we are real and age, while fictional characters remain frozen in canon, it’s unfair to demand that someone abandon a meaningful bond simply because time moved forward for them and not the story.It’s valid to hold affection for who a character was when you met them.I fully support imagining fictional characters growing up alongside you, maturing as you do, and allowing that bond to evolve in a way that reflects your real life. That growth is natural and healthy.What I am not comfortable with—and will not engage with— is sexualized depictions of minors.To be very clear: this boundary is about sexual content, not about being a fan, feeling attached, or carrying emotional significance forward.
ㅤOn Shipping with Villains—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤI don’t care if you selfship or yumeship with characters I personally find evil, irredeemable, or incapable of love. Even when I don’t understand it, I respect that these connections are deeply personal.I love dark themes and villain characters—heroes have never been my draw. My yumeship simply isn’t rooted in villain fantasy, even though I enjoy it elsewhere.I’m not here to police anyone’s psyche or inner world. Something about that character speaks to you—maybe you see potential I don’t, maybe you’ve reimagined them, maybe you enjoy the fantasy of being the one person they soften for, or maybe you’re exploring something darker on purpose.That journey belongs to you.
the shepherd of my heart lord sesshōmaru & me: a personal History
Yumeshipping has a name now—a language, a space, a community. But when I fell in love with Lord Sesshōmaru, none of that existed for me.I was only 12 when it started. We didn’t have the internet at home until I was 15. Even then, fandom spaces were scattered, slow, and nothing like what exists today. There were no dashboards, no tags, no algorithms connecting you with people who felt the same. There was no single place to belong.But what I did have was time and my two hands.I had sketchbooks filled with drawings— some serious, some silly, and some tender.
I had a three ring binder packed with pictures of Sesshōmaru, mostly anime screencaps, and sometimes fanart. I printed them at the public library, one dime a page, spending every bit of my lunch snack allowance just to bring him home with me. Each page I slid carefully into a plastic sleeve. That binder lived in my backpack for years it was my portable shrine.At home, I made a literal altar on my shelf. Candles even. Small objects that fit his theme and a framed picture of him at the center. Even black and white printouts on computer paper taped to my walls. It was all I had, it was everything.Merchandise was nearly impossible to obtain. I was a child with no money, and online creators weren’t really a thing yet. Official merch meant maybe HotTopic, if you were lucky. I was gifted a Sesshōmaru plush in middle school and I carried it to school every day. Some people thought I was weird. My friends didn’t, they supported me. But all of that— the art, the shrine, and the binder was just the surface.Being a teenager is brutal. Even now, in my 30s, I haven’t forgotten how ill equipped I felt for life at that age. My home life wasn’t safe or stable. Puberty hit hard, and at 13, my world flipped upside down. My emotions felt like too much—I was drowning. I didn’t know how to cope. I started self harming in seventh grade, overwhelmed by feelings I didn’t have the language or tools to process.Art became my lifeline, allowing a special kind of escapism. I drew Sesshōmaru and myself together. It wasn’t just jokes and crack art, though there was plenty of that, but the soft, fluffy stuff, the tried and true hurt/comfort. I would sketch him holding me while I cried. He was always present, steady, my pillar.What drew me to him wasn’t just his attractiveness or mystery— it was control, something I lacked. His command. His restraint. His composure. The way he protected Rin. The way he acted as a guardian. How he never raised his voice and was always decisive.If I’m honest, I just wanted to be cared for. I wanted the calm he seemed to possess when my emotions felt like a curse. I mistook his stoicism for coldness back then, because I was a child desperate for quiet inside my own head who lacked critical thinking and media literacy to fully understand his depth. I thought I needed to cut my feelings out to be like him. Nonetheless, he made me feel safe. He helped me survive my childhood.
By today’s standards, those early years would be considered a platonic yume. I was a kid with feelings I didn’t yet understand. I knew he was beautiful. I knew he was hot, but ‘adult’ desire wasn’t the point. Comfort was.I joke about how Sesshōmaru appeared in episode 5: Aristocratic Assassin and imprinted on me forever. It’s funny because it’s true. No other character has held my heart the way he has. No other story has lived in my psyche the way ‘Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale’ did. I’ve watched countless anime since then, and most of it passes through me like food— enjoyable, but forgettable.Sesshōmaru did not pass.
He stayed.As I got older, a more ‘adult’ attraction naturally followed— but even then, Sesshōmaru was comfort first. Now, in my 30s, feeling emotionally grounded and secure, I don’t think another character could ever fill the role he did when I needed him most.
That door was opened once, and he closed it behind him as he entered.When I was 12, I promised myself I’d get a Sesshōmaru tattoo someday. At 27, my grandmother passed away suddenly. She was one of the people I loved most. Losing her was my first real confrontation with my own mortality. I realized how fragile time is and how little we’re guaranteed. It scared me.In my grief, I returned to what had always been true.
I got the tattoo.Now my left arm has a three-quarter sleeve of Sesshōmaru in his true dog demon form, stretching across my arm and collarbone. I chose my left arm on purpose, since it’s the one he loses and later regains after realizing his strength was always his own.
Looking back now, I see that Sesshōmaru was never phase or a fixation. He wasn’t only a fantasy I escaped into; he was something I carried forward. Through childhood, through loss, through growth, he remained a steady figure in my heart. This was never just a shallow attachment to a “hot character.” It was self love and care, expressed in the way I understood back then.If you’ve ever formed a bond like this, remember that it doesn’t need justification. These attachments aren’t less important just because they’re inside or imaginative. They are real in the ways that matter most. They shape us, protect us, and sometimes help us through the years we couldn’t survive alone.“Yumeshipping” didn’t start with the internet, and it doesn’t need permission. Many of us formed these bonds long before we had language for them— alone, gently, with only our hearts and imagination to drive us. If your connection is deep, if it has carried you through hard years, and if it feels woven into who you are, that is enough. You don’t owe anyone proof.A lot of yumeshippers feel pressured to measure their love in visible things; merchandise, collections, shrines you can photograph and display. And while those can be joyful and meaningful, they are not the measure of devotion and love for a character. You are not lesser if you have none of it.I hope that by sharing my story, I’ve shown that attachment starts in the heart, in the imagination, in the intimate moments that shape who we become. My bond is proof that loving a character goes far deeper than what can be bought.Sesshōmaru is the shepherd of my heart and this blog exists to honor that bond and to continue celebrating it.
This is the Sesshōmaru I love, understand, and have grown with for over two decades. This interpretation is personal, and not open for debate.
ㅤMY Sesshōmaru is—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤ Reserved, but deeply caringㅤ✿ㅤ Quietly attentive and observant— he listens more than he speaks and remembers everything.ㅤ✿ㅤ Intimate in subtle, intentional ways rather than grand displays.ㅤ✿ㅤ Protective without being possessive.ㅤ✿ㅤ Patient, steady, and emotionally composed.ㅤ✿ㅤ Respectful of autonomy — love is not ownership to him.ㅤ✿ㅤ Admires independence.ㅤ✿ㅤ Loyal once trust is earned.ㅤ✿ㅤ Grounded, dependable, and consistent.
ㅤMY Sesshōmaru is not—ㅤ
ㅤ☾ㅤ Possessive, jealous, or controllingㅤ☾ㅤ Abusive, cruel, or emotionally distant to the point of neglectㅤ☾ㅤ Aggressive, or domineering by default.ㅤ☾ㅤ A hypersexual “alpha” trope.ㅤ☾ㅤ Verbally degrading or humiliating toward his partner.ㅤ☾ㅤ Emotionless or incapable of love.ㅤ☾ㅤ A CEO, billionaire, or power fantasy stand in.
ㅤ☾ㅤ Someone who views love as weakness(anymore).
ㅤartistic librities i take—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤ For fun, my art often depicts Sesshōmaru in a modern AU.ㅤ✿ㅤ He appears in many styles, sometimes a clean minimalist, sometimes playful alt fashion.ㅤ✿ㅤ I explore him as older 30-45 over his canon human equivalent age of 19.ㅤ✿ㅤ Physical traits shift with my interpretations too. A scruffy beard, more body hair, scars from past battles, or even depicted as an amputee with his left arm missing.ㅤ✿ㅤ These choices are part of imagining him living, growing, and carrying his history into new contexts — still very much Sesshōmaru, still very much canon inspired.
ㅤSesshōmaru Character Study—ㅤ
ㅤ✿ He is Restrained, Not Soulless |ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤStoicism is not the absence of feeling — it is the mastery of it.Sesshōmaru feels deeply, but he chooses what the world is allowed to see. His silence is never empty; it is deliberate. Words are measured. Reactions are tempered. He pauses not in uncertainty, but in choice.He does not fracture under pressure. He steadies his breath, adjusts something small, and remains composed. This is effort— restraint practiced, not innate coldness.To strangers, he is distant and discerning. To those he has chosen, he is unwavering. He does not mold, guide, or confine the people he protects. Like Rin, they are permitted to remain fully themselves, free beneath his care. He intervenes only when life is at stake.His stoicism is not control — it is respect.
ㅤ✿ Not an “Alpha” trope |ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPossession is the language of insecurity. Control is born from fear of loss. While Sesshōmaru carries wounds rooted in family and legacy, he has never expressed that insecurity through ownership of others. At no point does he attempt to confine, dominate, or diminish the autonomy of those he loves. His wounds do not manifest as dominance. They manifest as distance, discipline, and self-mastery.His pattern has always been the opposite— he allows independence, sometimes to a fault. He protects without restricting. He remains present without hovering. He trusts the strength and agency of those beside him rather than seeking to manage or possess them.Reducing Sesshōmaru to a possessive “alpha” misunderstands both his character and the nature of his restraint. His confidence does not require control. His love does not demand submission. What he offers is choice, respect, and the space to remain oneself.
ㅤModern CEO Sesshōmaru is frequently done wrong & here is why |ㅤ
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTranslating Sesshōmaru’s power into wealth is an easy shortcut, but it misunderstands his journey. He is the firstborn son of a great lord, yes — but he never desired to inherit his father’s path. His story is not about succession. It is about separation.Sesshōmaru’s growth comes from learning that he does not need his father’s swords, titles, or approval to stand complete in himself. He does not rise by claiming what was handed to him; he rises by walking away and proving himself whole regardless. Independence is not rebellion for rebellion’s sake, it is self definition.A modern Sesshōmaru would not be a man content to sit in a chair built in his father’s name. If born into wealth, he would be the heir who refuses to coast on it. He would build something parallel, not inherited. His success would be earned, and unmistakably his.Power, for him, has never been about control or dominance — it has always been about self mastery.Modern AU Sesshōmaru can use family money and legacy, but his work should show autonomy, discipline, and a distance from nepotism. He does not just inherit power; he proves he never needed it.However, note that when he distances himself from his father, the series makes it clear that his father’s legacy follows him relentlessly. He is recognized by name, lineage, and reputation wherever he goes. Doors open. Expectations are imposed. Power is assumed — whether he wants it or not.Sesshōmaru is born into privilege, and the story never hides that. He is protected from human struggle and at first is out of touch with the realities of vulnerability, scarcity, and loss. In a modern CEO AU, this wouldn’t be seen as cruelty, but as a result of his status and power.That distance makes him out of touch at first, much like how he sees humans in canon. He does not understand hunger, fear, or fragility the way humans do. Privilege dulls awareness. In this AU, this isn’t a moral failure; it’s just his circumstance.His bond with Rin in canon is about learning consideration. Through her, he begins to understand the impact of his power on those without it.So, in modern AU, Sesshōmaru’s growth is not in renouncing his inheritance, but in recognizing it. In understanding the weight of his advantage, and choosing to act with care anyway.My modern and personal interpretations follow this same arc: legacy acknowledged, independence chosen, and care learned.
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤYou hiss softly as he presses the bandage to your inner thigh. “It stings,” you mutter, looking down at him eyes glossy.Sesshōmaru doesn’t look up immediately. His fingers are precise and steady as he smooths the adhesive into place. “You complain,” he says coolly, “as though you did not insist.”“I did not insist on it hurting.”A faint flicker of amusement touches his expression. “You insist on being bitten.”You cross your arms, indignant. “That’s different.”“Is it?” His golden eyes lift to yours now, sharp and knowing. “You are quite pleased when I indulge you.”Heat crawls up your neck and blooms on your cheeks. “That doesn’t mean I enjoy the aftermath.” You lie. Blatantly.He hums softly, finishing the bandage and giving it one last deliberate press— just firm enough to make you inhale sharply.“There,” he says, finally rising to his feet. “If it truly displeased you, you would not return to me so eagerly.”You look away, closing your eyes, trying to recover some dignity. "Maaaaybe I just like the attention.”A moment of silence hangs between you. Then, his voice near your ear.“You have it.”
ㅤ✿ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe rope is firm, but his hands are firmer. He ties like he does everything else— with precision in perfection.Each line across your chest is deliberate, measured. Not restraint for restraint’s sake, but structure. Security. Every wrap is even, every knot intentional, the rope settling against your skin like it belongs there. Sesshōmaru does nothing halfway.The tie holds you exactly where you need to be, and when his fingers curl around the main handle at your back, as if it were the reins to something sacred— you feel the quiet promise in it; you are bound, yes, but you are also held. The rope presses in all the right places, reminding you exactly where you are. Who you're with.There is nothing careless in his grip. Only control. Only closeness.